Paradoxes are fun. They fascinate and frustrate. They bend the mind and twist the tongue. They make us laugh and shake our heads. Here are a few of my favorites: Less is more; never say never;and don’t go near the water until you learn how to swim. How about adversity is a gift? This is so counter intuitive that it sounds ridiculous. How can adversity be a gift? It all depends on attitude. Philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have studied adversity and its effects on human beings. They have discovered that some people don’t just go through trauma, they grow through trauma. In contemporary terms, this is called Post traumatic growth (PTG). It is more than resilience; it’s resilience on steroids. Here are three ways people grow through adversity.
First, people grow by reaching out to others. Soon, they discover the power of synergy—that we is greater than me. Trauma survivors share a common experience and bond that comes from empathy. They understand and accept others who experience trauma. This reliance on others makes people aware and appreciative of how inter-dependent we all are.
Second, people grow by reaching up to a power greater than themselves. They become more spiritual. This belief in a benevolent source of strength bolsters their hope. This spiritual awakening often results in a greater appreciation for one’s blessings—the attitude of gratitude. People become more grateful for the simple things in life—sunrises and sunsets, blue skies, a walk in the park, and time with family and friends.
Third, people grow by reaching in to themselves to muster the emotional and physical strength to persevere. The person discovers that he or she had little choice but to rise to the occasion. This newly discovered strength to survive the moment is then available to help the person thrive in the future.
No one in his or her right mind would pursue adversity for the sake of its benefits, but accepting the blessing nestled in the burden enables the person to grow through trauma.
Tom Reilly is a professional speaker and the author of 16 books. His latest book is Hope in The Shadows of War.
